much love.

Day 18 -  A picture of your biggest insecurity.

 

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time."

Ok, so before all of you who are reading this think that I am depressed and hate myself. You're wrong. Don't worry. I don't.
Now that's out of the way, I will explain. Self-love. It's a difficult thing to explain... poor body image, low self esteem... insecurity. It all stems from poor self image. --  In my experience my own inability to recognize my own success and beauty has always contributed to a multitude of insecurities. I'm not sure when it started to happen. Maybe I had a life-altering experience that left me with this constant feeling of "what if I'm never good enough? What if I end up being just average?"

Now, again, I stress... I do not hate myself. And I am making more of a conscious effort to recognize my success in the last 23 years of my life. It helps to keep surrounded by people who will encourage you. My Dad will always say "you don't give yourself enough credit for all you have accomplished." He's right.
My Dad and I had dinner together the other night. I always love spending time with Dad. We have the greatest talks about life and dreams and all the exciting things we have in our future. Of course, the recent move to London came up and of course my reaction was "yeah...it's great... but I really need to..."

That's when he cut me off.

I can't even recognize the success I've had in just BEING in London. Let alone finding a job, finding a flat, making new friends and learning my way around a new city. Not just any city. It's LONDON! People dream about living here and doing what I'm doing... and here I am... doing it.

I may not lead the most glamorous life, but I'm living.