"...because i'm easy come, easy go..."

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

Karaoke Beach Party night at The Red Garter in Florence, Italy.
Bohemian Rhapsody with Ash. We rocked the house. One of my most favourite nights on tour. This song plays at the pub every Friday night and I'm always singing it at the top of my lungs with the girls behind the bar... *cough Crystal*

Miss you Ash -- wish you were here so we could do it all again!

try, try again.

Day 28 - A picture of something you are afraid of.

Failure. It's a scary word...

"life's real failure is when you did not realize how close you were to success when you gave up."

daddy's girl.

Day 27 - A picture of you and a family member.

For those of you who don't already know, both of my parents are such strong individuals, and I am who I am today because of their good genes (haha!) and their strength, morals and values. 


my Dad and I are extremely close... I guess you could say I am a complete"daddy's girl" We are so much the same person...(no I don't think I love Rugby quite as much). He's compassionate, caring, supportive, strong, giving and the epitome of the "family man". I know that I can always count on him to make me feel better -- even if at the time I don't agree with what he's telling me.  He's so easy to talk to (yes! we even talk boys sometimes!) -- He's always got a story or a piece of advice. I cherish our talks because I always walk away feeling like I've learned something about who I am... or who I could be. I look to him to find strength and since I've been here, I really feel like I'm becoming someone who both my mum and dad can be proud of. I wouldn't be me if it weren't for them. 

Dad and I - Christmas Day 2009

the fabulous four.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

this is an understatement. my relationships with my friends and family are the most important thing to me in this entire world. this is a picture from a couple summers ago...a road trip to the states... These three girls are my backbone.. even from miles and miles away. This week has been a great week in London -- I'm probably the happiest I've been since I've moved over here... it's bitter sweet though because I miss these girls more then anything. I wish that I could share every moment I'm having here with them... and in some way I do. We've managed to keep in touch (the wonders of Facebook and e-mail) They are always checking in and I'm always eager to hear about their lives at home. As I mentioned before, this picture is a couple years old... I searched high and low, but couldn't seem to find one of all four of us in a recent shot.(I think a trip to London is due so we can have a few more memories captured!) Goes to show how life can get in the way -- things change. people move on. But with us we've all remained connected - one way or another. Even though our lives are changing and we're changing... and we're all still trying to figure out where our place is in this world. I know that when the tears start to fall or a smile comes to my face, I will run to these people. No matter where this crazy world takes us... to London.. or Hong Kong... Thunder Bay or Niagara Falls... nothing will ever change so much to the point that we're not friends anymore.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas...

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Spent the day window shopping in various arcades in Central London before going to work at the Leaf!

mo' money no problems!

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Money on trees would make things just a little bit easier!

book worm.

Day 23 - A picture of your favourite book.

I found a book quiz online. It says that my "book personality" is Anne of Green Gables -- "Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You're impulsive, rash, honest, and probably don't have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn't exactly treat others with kid gloves. Ultimately, though, you win the hearts and minds of everyone that matters. You spell your name with an E and you want everyone to know about it."

Despite how close this description of me is, I still have to say that Watership Down is still my all-time favourite book.

goodbye to you.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I've always wished I was better at letting go...I was starting to think I was a masochist... holding onto something that was over... holding onto memories of a time that I will never get back...

Today I let go. I let go of you and of us. It doesn't mean that you and I meant nothing to me. It doesn't mean I don't care about you or think of you from time to time. But it does mean I've let it go. I'm not hurting over you anymore. I will think of you and when I do I will smile because I know I was loved...

vacancy.

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget. 

how happy we were together.

the land down under.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you would like to travel.

After spending nearly two months traveling Europe with 35 Aussies... I'm curious. Not to mention, I miss them terribly (Ash and Von... this one's for you!)

love actually.

Day 19 - A picture of your favourite movie.

much love.

Day 18 -  A picture of your biggest insecurity.

 

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time."

Ok, so before all of you who are reading this think that I am depressed and hate myself. You're wrong. Don't worry. I don't.
Now that's out of the way, I will explain. Self-love. It's a difficult thing to explain... poor body image, low self esteem... insecurity. It all stems from poor self image. --  In my experience my own inability to recognize my own success and beauty has always contributed to a multitude of insecurities. I'm not sure when it started to happen. Maybe I had a life-altering experience that left me with this constant feeling of "what if I'm never good enough? What if I end up being just average?"

Now, again, I stress... I do not hate myself. And I am making more of a conscious effort to recognize my success in the last 23 years of my life. It helps to keep surrounded by people who will encourage you. My Dad will always say "you don't give yourself enough credit for all you have accomplished." He's right.
My Dad and I had dinner together the other night. I always love spending time with Dad. We have the greatest talks about life and dreams and all the exciting things we have in our future. Of course, the recent move to London came up and of course my reaction was "yeah...it's great... but I really need to..."

That's when he cut me off.

I can't even recognize the success I've had in just BEING in London. Let alone finding a job, finding a flat, making new friends and learning my way around a new city. Not just any city. It's LONDON! People dream about living here and doing what I'm doing... and here I am... doing it.

I may not lead the most glamorous life, but I'm living.

london calling.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

London. I've packed up my life ... and moved to another country all together. It's been terrifying, but things are all falling into place. I'm happy here for now and I've learned (*note on the billboard in the background) -"Where there is a will there is a way" . this could not be more true.

Piccadilly Circus - October 2010

this too shall pass.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

 I have been very lucky to have had a very close relationship with all of my grandparents and each of them inspire me in different ways. One common characteristic that is common within all of my grandparents is their strength. Mum's parents have been permanent fixtures in my life. Never missing a birthday, Christmas concert, Ballet recital. They've always been so supportive of me. Always have words of encouragement that help me to find strength within myself. My Nanny and I are both Pisces. We connect on an entirely different level to everyone else in the family. It may be the dreamer in us both, but I cherish that connection that I have with her. 

Nanny, Grandpa, Mum and I - March 2010

It's ironic that this post falls on the one year death of my other grandmother on my Dad's side. Although she is gone, she still inspires me everyday. For those of you who are reading this and knew my grandmother, you know that she was an influential part of my life. Like Mum's parents, she was also a permanent fixture. I remember being walked to the bus stop every morning by her when I was in kindergarten. Spending countless Christmases and birthdays together. My favourite was our New Year's trips to the USA where she would stay up late with Kendall, Alex (a close family friend) and I. We'd watch movies, dance parties, eat junk food and even a little champagne at midnight. 

Growing up, I always turned to her for advice and help. She used to sit and listen to me for hours about my dreams, my concerns, my love life (or lack thereof)... "this too shall pass" she would say to me.

I've spent the day going about my regular business. I had a job interview. I window shopped on Regent Street. I think of her everyday, but today I spent the day remembering her. Her smile. Her laugh. Her delicate hands when she would search through her purse looking for her glasses... 

I walk around London and wonder what she would say. What would she think of me now? I know deep down she would be proud that I persevered. I couldn't have done it without those words in my head. I repeat them to myself whenever something goes wrong... or when I feel like the world around is crashing down... "this too shall pass" ... "this too shall pass". And she was right. It does pass. As time goes on... things get easier. I am so grateful to have these strong people in my life because they inspire me to be strong. To persevere and strive to be who they know I can be. 

I have been truly blessed.

Kendall, Grandma and I - Easter 2007

 
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

going to the chapel.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

the dress. the party. the whole sha-bang.

I've had amazing role models for this big event that every little girl dreams about. My parents have been married 30 years this may.  I know it's not all sunshine and rainbows and that at one point or another, one of us will want out - but before I die I want to find the person who I can spend the rest of my life loving, for better or worse, until death do us part.

somebody's baby.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you couldn't imagine your life without.

 

Happy 19th to me. This picture is a complete depiction of our relationship.

You guessed it. My best friend Adam. I don't honestly know how to begin with this post. Not because I don't know him like the back of my hand, and definitely not because I don't know what to say... but more because nothing that I write here will do the friendship that Adam and I have had for the past 7 and a half years any justice. As you can probably see there has been a trend to this blog. If there is one thing I know about myself it is that the relationships that I have with people, both past and present are very important to me. If I love you, I will carry all your pain, I will protect you from insecurity. I would give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. My friendship with Adam is more then that. It's one in a million and I could not imagine who I would be without him.

I remember the first time I met Adam. We were in grade 6 and he just transferred to my elementary school. I used to hang out by his locker and try to talk to him. He was always making me laugh (and yes, I believe I had a crush on him). Our friendship really didn't begin until high school, at a paddling competition in Quebec that I attended with my parents to support my younger sister. We ended up spending one night talking about Paradise Hotel (a cheesy reality show that never really took off). From then on we were inseparable. We laughed together, ditched class together. We've been through graduations, semi-formals, failed exams, fights with parents, road trips, concerts, keggers, snowstorms, heartbreaks and even losing a family member. We've got countless memories... just today, my new flatmate was playing a Canadian classic, "A Million Dollars" by the Barenaked Ladies -- takes me right back to being on a bus with Adam driving around Ireland with him singing about buying me a monkey... because "I bet you always wanted a MON- KAY". I've never been a girl without a date because I have Adam. I'd rather go with him to a wedding then anyone else I've had in my life. My family considers him family -- and if they were still living in Lorne Park, I know that he would be over, raiding my fridge and watching rugby with Dad in my place.

Now that I'm living in London, we don't BBM (blackberry message) everyday like we used to... nor do we have the time to talk everyday but despite that I still feel a constant connection. I hope to always have that. I hope that I can always reach out to him and we can pick up where we've left off.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him... and sometimes I even get to the point where I have to fight back the tears as I look for flights home for a visit (never-mind the fact I can't afford it). Being in London, going through the uncertainty of finding a job, finding a flat, having a broken heart and not having Adam here... it's been harder then I ever imagined. But he's always got a pep-talk. He inspires me. He comforts me and can take my mind off all of my worries --- at least for the duration of our conversation. He's always got a story for me.

Love.

 Through it all, one word to describe our friendship is effortless. We've always managed to stay connected. As Aristotle says "a friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies" -- Adam is a true kindred spirit. He has been a person who has acted as not only a support system (he's been a rock and has been strong for me when I couldn't find strength within myself). He has acted as a mirror. He shows me what's holding me back or what I am afraid of. He's able to bring things to my attention so that I can change my life.
I'll love you forever.

Let's face it. You're my favourite. LPSS 50th Anniversary Football Game.

your sex is on fire.

Day 13 - A picture of your favourite band or artist.

The Kings of Leon.

"told me you love me, that i'd never die alone
hand over your heart let's go home
everyone noticed everyone has seen the signs
i've always been known to cross lines"

let it snow.

Day 12 - Post a picture of something you love.

Snowy Days on the ski hill.

Kendall, Mum and I - Xmas 2007

snap. crackle. pop.

Day 11 - A picture of something that you hate.

I have a few quirky things I hate, but the sound of cracking knuckles probably tops the list... yuck.

to my bestest.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most f*cked up things with.

Time for bed? Summer 2009

Easy. My best friend since we were 3 ... Alex.

Coincidentally, tomorrow is her birthday. This will be the first birthday I have missed since we were in kindergarten. It's a frightening thought because I feel like a bad friend missing it.. although my excuse of being on another continent is pretty good. If I had the money to fly home to Toronto to spend it with her there would be no hesitation... sadly... I have yet to win the lottery (or marry a very rich man) so I am in London -- but know Alex, I am with you in spirit on your special day.

As I mentioned before, Alex and I have been friends since we could (basically) walk and talk. We've been through kindergarten, elementary school, secondary school and even university together. Most recently, our adventures took us around Europe together. We packed up our lives and headed to London in June and you can imagine the shenanigans we got into throughout the trip. Let's just say, what happens in Europe, stays in Europe... and I will take these memories and stories to the grave. So without getting into specifics, you'll have to take my word for it. Alex is my best friend. She is by far my favourite person to get into trouble with -- she'd never be bailing me out of jail because she would be behind bars with me. But beyond being my most fun friend -- she's also one of my most loyal. I am so lucky to have her friendship and couldn't imagine my life without her. She's seen me through heaps of tough times -- scraped knees, fights with parents and my sister, bullies at school, dance competitions, semi-formals (you know that one I'm talking about Alex) -- graduations and heartbreak. She has been so supportive of my decision to move to London -- even though I know she'd rather have me at home. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her when something happens and she would laugh at me... or when it's a quiet night at home like this one, and I'd KILL someone just to be able to sit around, talk boys and watch a movie together with a bottle of wine.

I hope she knows how special this summer was for me. If we weren't close before we took this trip, then we definitely are now. She's like a sister and I'm a better and stronger person for having her in my life.

Happy Birthday Kiddo. Miss you heaps. Love you more. xo

Paris June 2010.

meet the parents.

Day 9 - A picture of someone who has got you through the most.

Easy.
My parents and my sister... my family. They've seen me at my best and my very worst. Through failed exams, fights with friends, heartbreaks and most recently a life-changing move. I would not be the person I am today without their love and support and I am thankful everyday to have them in my life.
Much love.

Collett Family Reunion after a summer of traveling. Brussels, August 2010

Day 8 cont'd

"Stop Eating My Face" 

I found this picture online. It made me think of someone and smile.

so you're from Canada, eh?

Day 8 - A picture of something that makes you laugh.

So You're From Canada, eh?

I can't help but post this... it's not a picture, but I think it's better.

Since I've lived in London I'm always meeting someone new. Usually,  they almost always say at least ONE of these things when I mention that I am Canadian. (My new roommates -- an aussie and a kiwi also get a kick out of this one)

I don't usually respond by "jersey-ing" them... not yet anyway...

for keeps.

Day 7 - A picture of your most treasured item

 

My grandmother gave my a cameo brooch for my university graduation. She said that my granddad (who I never knew very well) had given it to her when they were married. It was one of her favourite pieces from her jewelry collection. My grandma never had a lot, but she never forgot a birthday, easter, valentines, christmas, graduation, school concert or first day back to school. This was one of the last gifts given to me from her. 

boys boys boys

Day 6 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

 A boy. Probably the most obvious...but for lack of better reason, might give me some better insight into what the heck men are thinking most of the time!

those will be the best memories.

Day 5 - A picture of your favourite memory.

Lorne Park Christmas 2009

 

 

As Christmas is approaching quickly, I'm starting to think about the exciting New Year ahead... but with looking forward, I can't help but look backwards. This post is about a favourite memory... I have too many to count, but when I think of something I miss the most about "home" it's the people that are pictured above. This is a memory I have from last Christmas. Everyone was home for the holidays. The trees were decorated... the fire was lit and the snow was falling outside. This was my first dinner party and I think a huge success. A great night catching up with old friends. What I wouldn't give to be able to have them all to my new flat in London for another Christmas dinner... Maybe next year?

cailin was here.

Day 4 - A picture of your night.

You guessed it. I will be working at The Maple Leaf tonight. My home away from home. Thursday nights are usually pretty good at the pub... and with yet another tube strike now over, we're sure to have the regular crowd ordering their usual.

it's a beautiful day to save lives.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Grey's Anatomy.  McDreamy...McSteamy... nuff said.

sisters.

Day 2 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

Kendall and I - Halifax Harbour September 2008

Ok, this post will read that I posted it on Nov. 3 instead of Nov. 2... and that is true, except that I'm still counting it as Day 2 (Nov. 2) because it is only quarter to 1am and I have not been to bed yet. 

When I saw this next post, I was torn. I have been fortunate to have several friends whom I have been close with for many years, but my little sister Kendall, is definitely my closest friend. 

Being my little sister, you may be thinking, you have to say that. Well, anyone who knows me, knows how much she means to me. I truly consider her my best friend. Being sisters, we obviously have our ups and downs -- especially when clothing is involved... however, when the sh*t hits the fan, she's right there next to me, holding my hand. 

Although I am the older one, I find I look up to my little sister. She possesses so many qualities that I wish that I could have. She's confident. She's smart, witty and funny. She always has a story to tell. She's compassionate, kind and has a great sense of fashion (she is my favourite shopping buddy). 

 So this post is for her. The person in my life who has always been there for me. Someone who has seen me through the good and the bad. Someone who knows exactly what to say to lift my spirits -- someone who knows when not to say anything at all.

Since being in London, I haven't been as in touch with Kendall as I would like. Our long distance phone bills would give Dad a heart attack, so until I get set up in my new flat and can skype -- I continue to miss her smile and her laugh. Love you, sis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one month.

So I saw this on Facebook and thought that it was a really cool idea. so here I go. 30 days... and more about me.

Day 1 -  A Picture of Yourself with 10 facts.

1. I have just moved to London from Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
2. Since I left Canada in June, I have visited 18 different countries in Europe.
3. I am still learning to love myself.
4. Being away from Canada, only makes me appreciate being Canadian that much more... (and the Canadian men who live there...)
5. I am a Toronto Maple Leafs fan (yes, I am an "beLEAFer")
6. I love all holidays, but I have an abnormal amount of Christmas cheer. 
7. Even though I am almost 24, I still miss my parents and sister everyday I don't see them. (yes, I try to call them everyday)
8. I find it difficult to let go of things.
9. I'm looking for an adventure, but it scares me to death.
10. I hate goodbyes.